Lindsey Nordby

The title of this post is very literal.

As I’ve grown from being a teenager into an adult, I relentlessly hung onto the clothes that fit me in high school.

As my body was changing and growing, my clothes began to fit less and les, although I wouldn’t have admitted that until recently.

I maintained the same pant sizes and same shirt sizes, even though I was outgrowing them and I began looking pudgy in clothes that were getting too small for me.

Although, in my denial, I continued to buy these too small sizes. While my shirts I could make work, as I rarely bought form fitting tops so I naturally had a little room to breathe, my pants were snuuuuug.

Right as COVID was starting, Michael and I took advantage of a sale at Banana Republic to buy some new business pants for work (little did we know it would be about 6 months before we could wear them). In my ignorance, I decided to order size 2’s. I most definitely am not a size 2. Although, when they arrived at our house, I tried them on and told myself they fit, even though I could tell they probably wouldn’t fit much longer. I was a small person, I told myself. And while they technically did fit on that day, I knew there was no room to grow in them, although I decided to keep them.

Flash forward to the end of 2022, just a few weeks ago. 2 and a half years after buying the on-the-verge of being too small pants, I was still squeezing my little behind into them Monday-Thursday for work. A couple of them were still okay-ish, but a couple others definitely were not. The breaking point was when I was trying to put a pair on one morning before work and it was hurting the joints in my fingers holding onto the belt loops and practically jumping to pull them on.

As I sat through my eight hour work day, my pants were digging into my stomach and hurting so bad that I had to unbutton them while sitting down, and then could barely get them buttoned again when I stood up.

I came home that night, admitted defeat, and told Michael that my pants were entirely too small and that I needed to go shopping for a larger size.

It felt like just that – defeat. It felt like I had lost and as I aged, my body was growing in sizes, which I didn’t want to happen. I liked being the small person. I felt like it was something special to be smaller than most, because all my life it’s been a key thing in what’s made me, me.

I begrudgingly went through the next week as we led up to buying new pants, feeling slightly guilty over spending money on something that were still in perfectly good condition that I now had to donate, though also a little excited over the prospect of shopping for new things (what can I say, I’m a girl at heart).

I convinced my husband that I only wanted to go thrift shopping, both in an effort to save a little money, and still feeling guilty about my great-condition pants no longer fitting.

Let me tell you, having pants that actually fit my body was truly game changing.

What I’ve learned over the past two weeks is that even though I had on a size 2, because they were so snug, they made me look a lot chubbier than I actually was. So, the idea in my head that I was small so I had to reflect it was backfiring on me as my “pants for small people” were actually making me look poorly.

Wearing pants that are the correct size and fit for my body has not only made me feel more comfortable at face value, but it has also made me feel more confident and approachable.

Wearing the right-fitting clothes makes me feel better and makes me feel like I’m embracing being an adult instead of being stuck in high school. It’s made me feel better about myself and my own skin.

I share all of this with you to encourage you – just because your size is going up, doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Bodies change over time, we all grow in different ways as we age. Needing to size up doesn’t mean you’re fat, like I’ve thought of myself for so long. We have to allow our body to change and we have to adapt with it. We will never look like we did yesterday.

Don’t allow yourself to be ignorant and try to live in the past like I did for so long. Celebrate your changing body and change with it. I promise you, you won’t regret it! You’ll find comfort in so many places.